Category Archives: chasing dreams

Believing in Yourself

For many, many years, I didn’t believe in myself. I still struggle with that. So writing has been a journey of self-discovery and growth as I have gained confidence in my abilities and gifts. I don’t mean I’m proud or haughty about it, at least I hope not. But I do think we all have gifts and talents and abilities and should have confidence to use those. But for many, many years, I didn’t have any confidence. I was shy. It wasn’t publishing my first or nineteenth book that gave me confidence. No, confidence was hard won through lots of work and climbing that mountain of self-doubt. Taking the risk that I might fail or embarrass myself gave me confidence in knowing if I did embarrass myself it wasn’t the worst thing ever. If I did fail, then I could dust off and get back on my feet and try again or try something else. Failing wasn’t the worst-case scenario either. NOT trying, NOT risking was much, much worse.

Joining my first critique group was frightening. Reading aloud a chapter I’d written to other wannabe writers was a huge step. Each time I did it, I overcame another fear. Hearing the things that needed to be fixed, I learned things about my writing and gained confidence to try again.

Then this shy person had to start speaking to groups. I battled a whole bunch of other insecurities. But each time I spoke to a group about writing or my journey, again my confidence grew.

It’s okay to have fears. We all have them. But you have to battle them. Fear, I have learned, does not come from God. It is a tool of the evil one. Don’t let him win. Don’t let your fears get the best of you. Stand up to those fears. Battle them. And you will be the winner.

So what is your fear?

Dreams do come true!

A few weeks ago, I heard that a golfer won the British open after trying for 20 years. Since I am not really into golf, I have not real details there and i apologize to all you golfers out there, but I definitely celebrated for that golfer. It takes tenacity to go for your dreams. They don’t materialize over night.

A couple of friends of mine have a critique partner who just sold her first book after seven years of writing and submitting. That’s a long time to hang in there! Here’s her story on her blog:

http://authoraghoward.blogspot.com/2011/08/overwhelmed-ever-grateful-blessed-and.html?spref=fb

CONGRATS, Anita! And congrats to all of you out there pursuing your dreams as you wait for those dreams to come true.

Dream Big

When I was just starting out writing, I knew other beginning writers who would say, “Just writing a book is an accomplishment.” I agreed but then again…I didn’t agree. My dream wasn’t just to write a book (that was step one of many to get to my dream), but my dream was to be published by a real print publisher, preferably by a New York publishing house. That was my dream. By the way, those who said that statement about just completing a book only did that. They never went on to publish. So be careful how you phrase your dream.

When you are deciding, committing and disciplining yourself about your dream, be specific what that dream is. Yes, it is an accomplishment to complete a book. And if you are pursuing publication, then once you reach ‘The End’ of that very first book, you definitely deserve a celebration! But don’t pat yourself too hard on the back and for too long. The hard work is just beginning. Writing, someone famous once said, is rewriting.

Whenever you are pursuing a BIG goal, there are many smaller goals along the way that must be achieved. It’s all a building block and foundation for the bigger dream. Write those down, think about them, pursue each one passionately. Each step forward will put you that much closer to your goal. I’ve even known very visual folks who drew a map and marked off sections they completed so they could see how they were closing in on their dream.

So are you ready to share your dream? What do you want to do? If you still don’t know? What are you doing to figure that out?

Got a dream? Part 4

So far, we’ve discussed the three things it takes to pursue your dream. 1. Decide. 2. Commit. 3. Discipline. What’s next? Well, brace yourself. If I didn’t scare you off yesterday then I might today.

Number four is: sacrifice. I already see you cringing. I know, I know. No one wants to even hear that word: sacrifice. Today, we like easy, comfort, instant, drive-thrus. We don’t like to wait and we don’t want to have to give up anything. We like to eat our cake and have it too. Well, if you’re going to reach for a dream, sacrifice is demanded.

There will be things you have to give up. For me, when I first decided and committed to becoming a writer, I sacrificed a lot financially. A decent paying job for one. Teaching won’t make you rich, but it will pay the bills. Without that teaching job, I had to figure out a way that I could pay bills and live and eat. But I didn’t eat at fancy restaurants. I clipped coupons. I didn’t go shopping. Yep, and for me that was a HUGE sacrifice. I didn’t get to see my friends as much. Still don’t. I have deadlines. When my kids were little, other moms were calling their friends during naptime and catching up, but I was writing so I could meet deadlines. Neither is right or wrong. But chatting with friends would not have gotten a book written and my dream was writing. Olympic athletes give up a lot to reach for their dreams. They wake up early and work hard. Some go to school part time or homeschool. Therefore, they often give up Friday nights at football games and prom. They give up hanging out with friends and eating fattening desserts. So before making that decision and commitment, figure out what you are going to have to sacrifice.

What is your sacrifice? Is the payoff worth it?

Got a dream? Part 3

We’ve talked about making THE decision and making a commitment to pursue your dreams. So, let’s talk about the third thing it requires to pursue your dream.

Discipline. This is a huge topic and we may have to revisit this one later. But it takes discipline to pursue a dream. Malcolm Gladwell who wrote The Tipping Point says it takes 10,000 hours to get good at something. 10,000 hours. Think about it. That’s a lot of time. If you worked on your dream 40 hours for 52 weeks of the year, that’s a little over 2,000 hours. At that pace it’s gonna take roughly 5 years to get to 10,000 hours. Now don’t get discouraged. Remember, you’ve made a decision. You’ve committed. And now you gotta get as tough as a drill sergeant. Olympic athletes discipline themselves in how they work out, eat, and challenge themselves beyond their endurance. Any athlete who has won the gold medal would say, “It’s worth it.” At some point they had to get disciplined. Discipline is a muscle and requires working out to strengthen it. You won’t be disciplined over night. You’ll mess up. But recommit and begin again. Discipline yourself.

If you struggle with this area, we will talk about this some more because there are strategies for becoming more disciplined. But for now, begin. And if you need someone to help you, a partner in crime, so to speak, try to find someone you can trust with your dream (remember, no one who is going to laugh or harass) and ask that person to keep you accountable. Maybe you can help your friend if he or she is struggling too.

So does discipline come easily for you? Or do you struggle? What are some techniques that have helped you be more disciplined?

CONTEST:
Leave a post and I’ll draw a winner on Friday for a free book!

Got a dream?

(This is a continuation of yesterday’s post: What it takes to go for your dreams)

So you’ve made a decision, right? You’re going to pursue your dream. Or you’re going to find out what that dream is. It all starts with a decision.

But what’s next? So you’re sitting on the couch, checking email, maybe googling how to climb Mt. Everest or where to find local writers groups. But what next? What to do? Don’t get up from the couch just yet. The next thing you need to do is make a commitment.

Yes, I know, you said you made a decision. Yay! That’s great! That’s the first step. But frankly, millions of folks decide on New Year’s Resolutions every January, but it takes more than a decision. It takes a commitment.

You have to push beyond all the questions and doubts and fears. Those are roadblocks that are going to immediately pop up in your path. Here’s a decision I often make: I’m going to get up at five a.m. and write. That is a sure-fire guarantee that one of my kids is going to wake up sick in the night or the cat is going to wake me. If you make a decision, a roadblock is going to immediately pop up and block your way. What are you going to do? Sleep in? Get up anyway? Commitment will get you out of bed when the alarm goes off and you’re muzzy headed and bleary eyed.

Or maybe you have different roadblocks. Maybe your mother just called as if she instinctively knew you made a decision to chase down that ridiculous dream you’ve talked about on and off since you were six. And she sets you straight. “You,” she says, “have responsibilities. You don’t have time to go chase a dream. Forget it. Be responsible.” Maybe pursuing your dream is being responsible to your Maker who planted that dream in your heart.

Or maybe as soon as you made the decision that little voice inside you started talking. Come on, you know the voice. It says, “Who do you think you are? You’re no (fill in the blank—writer, doctor, mountain climber, etc…). You’re too (fill in the blank—stupid, lazy, broke, etc…) to do that!” Don’t listen. Plug your ears, sing, “lalalala” and ignore that voice. It’s been telling you what to do for way too long.

Or maybe you mention your decision to your husband/boyfriend/significant other/best friend and they give you that look. You know, the look that says that’s ridiculous. S/he doesn’t have to say it but you know what s/he’s thinking, “Here goes another hair-brained idea.” Or maybe, “We can’t afford that!” Well, I can’t tell you what to do about your relationships but relationships should be supportive and encouraging. Or maybe that person laughs at your dream. Really, are you going to listen to that person? They’re probably too scared to pursue their own dreams.

Back to the commitment. This is a solemn commitment to yourself as sacred as a marriage vow that you are going to devote time, resources (including money), and courage to pursuing this dream. It’s not for Mom or Dad, hubby or kids, or best friend or worst enemy. This commitment is for you. If you’re a believer then make the commitment to God. I believe God planted that dream in your heart, so give it to Him, commit to follow that dream wholeheartedly. When I decided to write, I quit teaching. Not in the middle of the year. I fulfilled my contract. But I knew I had to commit fully to my dream of writing. Not everyone needs to take that drastic of a step, and you obviously have to figure out a way to feed yourself and live, but I made that commitment. And no, I didn’t have a husband to depend on to make the money for food and housing. I figured out a way to make it work.
Taking that step, I knew there was no going back. So, are you ready to make that commitment? If not, what’s holding you back?

CONTEST:
Make a comment and you’ll be entered for a drawing at the end of the week for a free book!